So this is the part where I should be writing about how fast summer went by and how I just can’t believe it’s September already – but I’ll be honest with you, I’ve been craving this season since we had that heatwave back in June. I love autumn, Bonfire Night is my favourite holiday and over the past couple of years I have discovered that I fucking love cooking pumpkins and squash at this time of year. Pick up a festival squash next time you’re in Sainsbury’s, I promise you wont regret it.
Really, September couldn’t have come sooner. I thought it would be nice to list some autumn term goals, as this time of year always feels like a time to regroup.
01. On a personal level, I’m hoping to complete a sober September. This isn’t in response to any bad drinking experiences – fortunately my relationship with alcohol has improved considerably since my last period of sobriety – however I have noticed that I’m finding it increasingly difficult to not touch alcohol at all at parties and bars. I’ll nearly always end up having one or two, and I miss having that level of self control where I could take it or leave it. So to exercise my willpower, I’m taking a month off. It always feels super daunting at the beginning, but everyone in my life knows about my relationship with alcohol and is very supportive so hopefully with their encouragement it shouldn’t be too tough. I just wish there were more unsweetened nonalcoholic alternatives in pubs – let me know if you have any recommendations as there’s only so much J2o and Diet Coke a girl can drink.
02. Work wise, I want to be more productive. This is vague and broad and exactly how people in the know say you shouldn’t set goals, but it encompasses the changes I’m making in order to get more done. I’m signing up to a co-working space in an effort to get out of my increasingly suffocating bedroom on admin days, and when I just need the routine of travelling to and from work. I used to have this at university thanks to the libraries; I know I’m more productive in those environments and I desperately miss it. No more coffee shops for Moon. In addition, I’m making progress on sorting out my ridiculous sleep schedule, which got totally out of sync post break-up and became increasingly difficult to push through. By Christmas I want to have more routine, which will in turn, I hope, make me work harder and ultimately make me happier. Fingers crossed.
03. I want to stop worrying about the future so much. I’m in a massive period of change, which I feel is finally settling, and in this time I’ve been putting pressure on myself to lay the foundations for a really successful 2018. I tend to put a lot of pressure on and then put myself down when I don’t reach my goals, but ultimately that unhealthy thought pattern and those unrealistic expectations wont benefit me in the long run. I need to work through it. In particular, I’ve been stressed about finding more support in my career and finding people who will invest time in helping me achieve my goals off YouTube. Finding those people is a long process, and I’ve been impatiently losing hope as I meet with more and more people who like me but aren’t sure if they’re in a position to help. These negotiations take months, years even, and I forget that. I had an epiphany last week where I realised that I need to stop waiting and just keep working to make myself as valuable as possible. I want to erase that doubt or uncertainty and the only way to do that is to keep moving forward. Cliches seem to make the best epiphanies, and now I’m working on ignoring those unrealistic goals and pushing myself to achieve what I can in my current position.
04. On a lighter note, I want to take more photographs. I film a lot, as I’d imagine you know, but I’ve never been as good at taking stills. I’ve recently picked up a new camera, plus I’m rediscovering my love for 35mm film, and hopefully those two will work in tangent with my desire to fill my blog with nice images and encourage me to capture more of my life.
That concludes my autumn goals – four is manageable, I think? Hopefully I can give you an update as we head into the new year. Fingers crossed I can achieve at least some!